I will be joined by Kate Beesley and we’re going to be talking about future proofing your finances, in the relationship to ensure you will not be in a financially controlling position and have a secure financial future. Kate is a Psychotherapist and trauma breakthrough specialist, specialising in childhood related trauma, Narcissistic abuse and addictions. She is passionate about supporting women to break through free from domestic abuse and empowering them to live a healthy, happy, fulfilling life that they can be proud of.
Women should have a financial position where they can have a choice to walk away from relationships they don’t want to be in anymore. It may not be expected that they will be completely financially independent but rather, they will be financially in control of their own finances. Other than being financially in control, it is very important to bear in mind that to get out of a narcissistic abusive relationship you have to have the right knowledge and understanding of what’s actually going on. Raise that self-awareness so you can start to plan for what’s coming ahead before leaving. Knowledge is incredibly powerful.
How do you start? Know your purpose in life and grow that passion in you. It will secure your identity and who you are. This will then ensure that even if people or relationships around you don’t work out, you won’t lose yourself along the way. Clinging on to your independence. And hold on tight to your purpose.
Practice to have the courage to speak up. Open-up and engage. Come into agreement when’s the right time to talk and where you should talk. If both parties are willing to do that, it will take the relationship to a better position.
What can you do differently? Never ever be dependent. Build the ability to make you own income regardless of what we have and what the current situation in the relationship is. NEVER feel secure having nothing no matter how much they promise you or no matter how much they reassure you. Have the element of needing to protect yourself and your children for the future. Keep your identity. Strengthen your purpose. Fence your future so you have something to fall back on.
Grab a copy of Kate’s books called Domestic abuse breakthrough formula which takes you through the step by step process of getting a safe exit plan. It helps you understand your abuser and your situation to be able to heal wounds so that you don’t repeat history again and let the stronger version of you come into the surface.
“Making the decision to leave, gaining that strength to leave is the end of it” -Kate Beesley
Listen to full podcast here.