Today’s podcast is about overcoming financial trauma and I’ll be joined by Caroline Strawson who is a multi award winning ICF Accredited Trauma Informed Coach and Therapist and founder of the CPD Accredited School of Embodied Trauma Informed Living. She uses a unique integration of brain-body based therapies such as Brainspotting, Internal Family Systems, EMDR, Hypnotherapy, Breath Work and Positive Psychology to help other heal complex and attachment trauma at a deep nervous system level specialising in narcissistic abuse and also teaches others how to be trauma informed in their businesses.
She has a successful global therapy and coaching business and is #1 best selling author of Divorce Became My Superpower, host of #1 iTunes podcast & The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast and over 50,000 followers on Instagram and a FREE support group on Facebook with over 22,000 members. She has appeared on national television, newspapers,Magazines and Radio and supports thousands with her #1 Healing system, The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™
Caroline has been in a narcissistic marriage culminating in over $100,00 debt and losing her family home. She eventually was diagnosed with complex PTSD, depression, anxiety and self harm. She hit rock bottom and is now driven to support, educate and inspire others to know trauma does not need to define you.
According to Caroline, what caused her to be in a narcissistic marriage for years is the idea that she feels safer to be in that relationship than not being in any at all. Growing up in a traditional family where her dad is a really tough person whom she always seeked approval from but never got it whilst her mom is a kind of mom whose sense of worth came from simply being a mom. Her childhood had a great impact on why she had the tendency to become a real people pleaser that she wanted to ask others for validations.
She used to earn more than her ex-husband at first but because she had that mindset of what a family should be, she decided to become a stay-at-home mum and ended up totally reliant on her ex-husband. Then problems started to pile up from a cheating husband, to financial obligations, to being isolated and alone and actually losing herself in the process. She knew then that she was in a trauma bond that she couldn’t leave the abusive relationship as she wanted her kids to be happy, she wanted a complete family and that’s where she felt safe.
How did she manage to overcome her trauma?
- Create PAIN DISTRACTOR. Distract yourself away from the pain of trauma your brain and body thought was the worst pain you ever have to deal with. And when you understand that these distractors are only there to protect you from feeling what your system thinks is the most pain you can ever feel, then you can start to work on and process the trauma dealing with why it happened? Where did the wound come from?
- Be a ROLE MODEL. Being a role model to our children is building their idea of how we want them to have a foundation of relationships to work from. Be mindful of what standards or expectations we give our loved ones as their inspiration in their future relationships for this may contribute to building their character, behavior and mindset. This way, as we become conscious that we will intentionally or unintentionally become our children’s role models, we’ll then make sure they get the best practices from us.
- SELF LOVE. The best you can give your children is self-love. When you start loving
Trauma is something we have to process through the body otherwise, you’re still going to be stuck in an endless loop over and over again. It is actually built within what you say to yourself about your events in your past that then gets stored in your body. However, the good news is we can heal that because it’s in our power, within our control.
Healing is an ongoing journey, it is not a destination.
Listen to the full podcast here