Family court is one of the most emotionally charged environments a person can enter. It’s a place where relationships end, finances are divided, futures are reshaped, and children’s lives are reorganised. For many women, it’s also a place that feels deeply unfair. Not because judges are biased or because the law is written against them, but because the system itself is complex, under‑funded, slow and often ill‑equipped to support those who enter it without resources or representation.
In this conversation between Rebecca Robertson and family lawyer Elaine Foster, the curtain is pulled back on why so many women feel disadvantaged in family court, what structural issues contribute to that experience, and how women can navigate the process with more confidence, clarity and control.
The Reality of a System That Wasn’t Built for Everyday People
Elaine has worked in family law since 1997. She has seen every type of case, every type of client and every type of courtroom dynamic. Her view is clear: the system is not intentionally stacked against women, but it is undeniably broken in ways that disproportionately affect them.
The removal of legal aid more than a decade ago created a ripple effect that still hasn’t settled. Suddenly, thousands of people who would previously have had access to legal support were left to navigate divorce, finances and child arrangements alone. Without funding, they turned to Google, Facebook groups, well‑meaning friends, unregulated advisers and, increasingly, McKenzie friends — individuals who can accompany someone to court but are not required to have legal training, qualifications or insurance.
The courts became flooded with incorrect applications, premature filings and procedural mistakes. Judges were forced to spend valuable time untangling errors rather than progressing cases. Delays increased. Backlogs grew. And the people most affected were those who couldn’t afford representation — overwhelmingly women, especially those who had taken career breaks, worked part‑time or relied financially on their partner.
The system didn’t become unfair overnight. It became overwhelmed. And overwhelmed systems rarely serve the vulnerable well.
Why Women Often Enter Court at a Financial Disadvantage
Elaine explains that the biggest structural issue affecting women in family court is not the law itself, but the financial reality many women face when a marriage ends. Women typically earn less than men. They often have smaller pensions. Many have taken years out of the workforce to raise children, sacrificing earning potential and long‑term financial security. Others return to work part‑time, limiting their income and pension contributions even further.
When divorce begins, these financial gaps become painfully visible. Women may have limited savings, limited access to funds and limited ability to pay for ongoing legal representation. Their ex‑partners, on the other hand, may have higher incomes, larger pensions and more financial flexibility, giving them greater capacity to pay for lawyers, barristers and extended litigation.
This imbalance doesn’t mean the court is biased. It means the starting point is unequal. And unequal starting points create unequal experiences.
The Rise of McKenzie Friends - Help or Harm?
One of the most striking parts of Elaine’s insight is her explanation of McKenzie friends. Originally intended as supportive companions who could sit beside someone in court, take notes and offer emotional reassurance, McKenzie friends have now become a booming industry. Some are excellent, retired solicitors, former judges, or highly experienced professionals who genuinely help people navigate the system. But many are not.
Elaine describes meeting individuals who call themselves McKenzie friends after completing a short online course or, in some cases, no training at all. They charge high hourly rates, present themselves as legal experts and draft documents they are not qualified to prepare. Their work often looks professional, but the content is legally incorrect, incomplete or misleading. When these documents reach court, they create delays, confusion and additional costs, all of which fall back on the person who hired them.
Women, particularly those with limited funds, are more likely to rely on these services. And when the support is poor, they are the ones who suffer the consequences.
Why DIY Divorce Is Possible - But Not Always Safe
Elaine is a practising lawyer, yet she openly encourages people not to pay solicitors for basic divorce paperwork. The legal dissolution of a marriage — the divorce application, conditional order, and final order — is now streamlined, online, and straightforward. Most people can complete it themselves without legal help.
The danger lies not in the divorce itself, but in the finances. Ending a marriage does not end financial claims. Without a legally binding financial order, either party can make claims years later. Pensions, property, savings, investments and business assets must be formally divided, and this process is far more complex than the divorce application.
Women who try to navigate financial orders alone often underestimate the complexity. They may accept unfair settlements, fail to disclose assets properly, misunderstand pension valuations or agree to terms that disadvantage them long‑term. Elaine’s membership, Divorce Without Lawyers, exists to bridge this gap, providing women with guidance, training, and access to legal expertise without the cost of full representation.
Her mission is simple: empower women to do what they can themselves and pay for legal advice only when it truly matters.
The Hidden Emotional Toll of a System That Feels Unfair
Beyond the legal and financial challenges, Elaine highlights the emotional strain women experience when navigating family court. Many are dealing with trauma, economic abuse, coercive control or years of diminished confidence. Others are overwhelmed by the sheer volume of decisions, deadlines and documents.
When women feel underprepared, under‑funded or unsupported, the system feels hostile even when it isn’t intentionally so. The lack of clear signposting, the complexity of forms, the intimidating language, and the absence of accessible guidance all contribute to a sense of being lost in a maze without a map.
Elaine’s work is rooted in restoring confidence. She wants women to believe they can understand the process, advocate for themselves and make informed decisions. She wants them to feel empowered rather than defeated. And she wants them to keep more of their money for their future, rather than spending it unnecessarily on legal admin.
What Needs to Change - And What Women Can Do Now
Elaine is realistic. The system is unlikely to be fixed quickly. Funding is limited. Courts are overwhelmed. Legal aid is gone. And the rise of unregulated advisers is not slowing down.
But women can protect themselves by seeking the right support early. They can learn the basics of the legal process. They can understand their financial rights. They can avoid relying on unqualified advisers. They can use memberships like Elaine’s to gain clarity without draining their savings. And they can approach the process with confidence rather than fear.
Family court may feel stacked against women, but knowledge, preparation and the right guidance can level the playing field more than most people realise.
Rebecca Robertson in the Accelerating Your Wealth podcast.
